Read My MindWhat Does it Mean to Set the Tone and Take the Lead? Typically, when I talk with men about setting the tone and taking the lead, they hear: “Be controlling.” The concept of “leading” is frightening, because most of the men with whom I work are Nice Guys who have spent their lives trying to be different from the controlling men they have heard women complain about. Initially, it is difficult to understand how setting the tone and taking the lead is not controlling or self-centered. Perhaps even more significantly, it’s difficult to understand why women like it.Why You Should Run From A Seductive Woman "Robert, you’ve written, ‘At the first hint of sexual seductiveness, . . . RUN! Don’t look back.’ I am very confused by this. Sexual seductiveness would be something that I would consider for my five must-haves. Maybe this is due to my lack of sexual/relationship experience, but a lot of my fantasies involve a woman attempting to seduce me."I’m Sitting On The Beach and I’m Anxious I’m sitting on the beach, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, my toes are in the sand, my girlfriend is sitting next to me. . .
. . . and I’m feeling anxious. My body is buzzy, my mind is racing, and I have a feeling of dread.
What the . . . ?
[Read More]
Does Your Mind Mess With You? I will never cease to be amazed by all the interesting and amazing things the human mind can do. As a therapist, I am intrigued by how every individual’s mind works. I am amazed and amused by how my own mind works!Guest Blog: Masculine Leadership
Why Math Majors Often Make the Worst Math Teachers.jpg "math-class(small)") In general, people who are naturally good at something don't teach it well. They assume that everyone picks up the subject or skill just as easily as they did. When some don't, such teachers don't know how to help students over the hump, because they never struggled with it themselves.Guest Blog: The Master Keys to Social Influence.jpg "confident-business-guy(small)") Have you ever had that ongoing feeling of wanting more friends, better work success, more dates, more people in your life – and you knew that your lack of “social skills” was the main thing holding you back? You’re smart, you’re a good guy, you might even be on the handsome side of things and have it together in many ways. But you watch others pass you by that have better social skills and more charisma. They look so “natural” being social. How do they do it? What’s their secret?The Mayor of Puerto Vallarta: Can an Introvert Become a Social Powerhouse? Back in January, I invited a friend to visit me in Puerto Vallarta where I live in the winter. This was his first visit, and he fell in love with the city and the people just like I have. After spending a few days hanging out with me he made the comment that everywhere I went, people knew me – Mexicans and gringos. He started calling me the mayor of Puerto Vallarta because I seemed so well connected and liked.The Magic Bullet Many bad daters live in a world of make believe and fantasy. They are sure that there is some formula, some “magic bullet,” some trick that will make women miraculously start being attracted to them without them ever having to do anything to get out of their own comfort zone.Your Number One Sticking Point This is how life works. We continuously bump into various sticking points that cause us frustration, anxiety, fear, guilt, etc. Until we step up and consciously deal with them, nothing ever changes. No matter what our sticking points are, we can’t rise any higher in life until we clear those hurdles. Period. It doesn’t matter what your sticking is, you can only rise as high as that particular glass ceiling will permit.A True Life Adventure I’m a firm believer that miracles happen around people, so unless you’re around people, not much of interest will happen in your life. Every time I leave my house, I expect a miracle.Driven to Distraction At its core, The Nice Guy Syndrome is all about managing anxiety. Ironically, since anxiety is a lifelong companion for Nice Guys, the brain gets used to feeling it. Trying to let go of this familiar companion actually creates a new and more frightening kind of anxiety for the brain. [Read More]
Feeling Needy Around Women A common issue for Nice Guys is feeling needy around women. They often approach them in a “please like me” kind of way -- passive and ineffective. Once in a relationship, Nice Guys tend to hook up a hose to their woman and expect her to constantly validate them and be their core source of social and emotional connection.Guest Blog: The Power of Persistence and Patience “Guess what? I am going to start meditating. I am learning to play the guitar! Not only that but I am now a vegetarian!” Have you made pronouncements like these and a few weeks later had the feeling of putting your tail between your legs and running from your exciting new adventures? What goes wrong? Why do you quit, even though you haven’t put much effort into change? [Read More]
The Likability Factor Wanting and needing to be liked is childlike in its pursuit of external validation. It also leads to repression of your true self, which takes a toll on your personal integrity. Most significantly, it makes you a Teflon man. Since there is no “you” there, there is nothing for people to connect with. People connect with those who have rough edges, not with people who are trying to be perfect. |
Upcoming Classes & Seminars
Scroll down for more dates
 |
|
Contact Us
|
|
