Read My Mind

How to Approach Attractive Women in Public

attractive-women-small"Most of the women I see that I am interested in aren't ‘opportunities that present themselves.' For instance, a super cute girl walked by on the street the other day, but she was texting and didn't see me. How would I break into her world so that I can start to test for interest?"
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The Disappearing Man

frightened-man-smallGaining the ability to be conscious and to soothe and regulate reactive responses takes time and practice, just as in learning any new skill. You start with small steps, get some training, and accept some failure. With consistent practice over time, you become skillful. Read More

If You Could Do It Alone, You Already Would Have

do-it-alone-smallWe humans think we are rational beings who make rational decisions. The truth is we tend to use our intellect (the rational mind) to justify, act out, and/or evangelize our emotional wants, not the other way around. Read More

The Secret of Growing Up

baby-bottle-smallMost anxiety is based in the desire to be somewhere else, anywhere so as not to feel what we are feeling or face what we are facing. The desire to escape is a “child’s wish” to be free of the effort of living outside the womb.
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Is Living a Great Life Demeaning to a Woman?

living-a-great-life-smallHere’s the bottom line: a healthy woman doesn’t want to be more than the icing on a man’s great cake of a life. A good woman wants to be with a man who has passion and good guy friends, welcomes challenge, takes good care of himself, and makes a difference in the world. Read More

Do I Have To Reveal Everything to be Authentic?

authentic-conversation-smallClearly we need to speak from our truth, but it is possible to “over share,” thinking we need to reveal everything in a conversation. This simply isn’t true. You don’t have to reveal everything down to the last detail. You risk giving TMI and boring the hell out of people. Read More

Smart But Stuck

smart-stuck-smallFree Interview. Listen to my conversation with Don Baker about Tom Brown's new book, "Smart But Stuck." Read More

Elliot Rodger and The Nice Guy Syndrome

elliot-roger-smallWithin hours of Elliot Rodger’s violent rampage in Santa Barbara, my inbox began to fill up with email from self-professed “Nice Guys” commenting on the tragedy. Short of the homicidal rage, many could relate to aspects of Rodger’s situation. Read More

Guest Blog: Relaxation and Self-Soothing: The Oil in the Engine of Transformation

oil-can-smallDysfunction and bad habits are not caused by essential character defects but by lack of skill as well as misconceptions about how the world really works. Reflecting on your childhood, you may notice you received precious little training in life skills. Who ever taught you how to deal with self-doubt, uncertainty, or impatience in learning new skills?
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Take Your Job and LOVE It!

i-heart-my-job-smallWhether you have a good job that is occasionally unsatisfying or a terrible job for which you have to psych yourself up or smoke a joint just to get out of bed, you can take charge and actually enjoy showing up. FREE Podcast! Read More


belonging-small-2What experiences make you feel optimistic, complete, and blessed? If you are like most people, it’s the feeling of being deeply connected, known, and valued. Feeling desired by those whom you desire. Belonging. This is probably the strongest of human drives. Read More

Resistance to Structure, Commitment, and Accountability

resistance-smallOnce I began to connect my brain and behavior ­– how I was unconsciously reacting to external stimuli – I began to notice how my sensitivities drove a "moving away" behavior. Unconsciously, my senses were overwhelming me, and I was moving away to get comfortable.
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100% More Productive and 100% Happier

productive-man-smallWhen I started paying attention to the symptoms and markers of ADD/ADHD a few years ago, it blew my mind how many men I work with have been dragging a hidden anchor behind them all their lives. Most are smart, moderately successful, but FRUSTRATED! And they just don’t know why. Read More

When Overwhelmed: Do The Next Indicated Thing

one-small-thing-smallYou may relate to the panic and feeling overwhelmed when faced with a task you’re not confident about. It may be something new, such as starting a business or learning a new software program critical to advancing at work. It may be something at which you’ve failed in the past, such as changing a bad habit or dating.
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Is It Harder for Introverts?

life-is-not-fair-smallIt is no secret that extroverted people appear more confident, seem more well-liked, and have more doors opened in life. Does that mean that it’s harder for introverts to have social confidence, influence, and success? No. Introverts just have to challenge themselves in different ways.
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