Read My Mind

How to Approach Attractive Women in Public

attractive-women-small"Most of the women I see that I am interested in aren't ‘opportunities that present themselves.' For instance, a super cute girl walked by on the street the other day, but she was texting and didn't see me. How would I break into her world so that I can start to test for interest?"
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Is Living a Great Life Demeaning to a Woman?

living-a-great-life-smallHere’s the bottom line: a healthy woman doesn’t want to be more than the icing on a man’s great cake of a life. A good woman wants to be with a man who has passion and good guy friends, welcomes challenge, takes good care of himself, and makes a difference in the world. Read More

Do I Have To Reveal Everything to be Authentic?

authentic-conversation-smallClearly we need to speak from our truth, but it is possible to “over share,” thinking we need to reveal everything in a conversation. This simply isn’t true. You don’t have to reveal everything down to the last detail. You risk giving TMI and boring the hell out of people. Read More

Elliot Rodger and The Nice Guy Syndrome

elliot-roger-smallWithin hours of Elliot Rodger’s violent rampage in Santa Barbara, my inbox began to fill up with email from self-professed “Nice Guys” commenting on the tragedy. Short of the homicidal rage, many could relate to aspects of Rodger’s situation. Read More

Take Your Job and LOVE It!

i-heart-my-job-smallWhether you have a good job that is occasionally unsatisfying or a terrible job for which you have to psych yourself up or smoke a joint just to get out of bed, you can take charge and actually enjoy showing up. FREE Podcast! Read More


belonging-small-2What experiences make you feel optimistic, complete, and blessed? If you are like most people, it’s the feeling of being deeply connected, known, and valued. Feeling desired by those whom you desire. Belonging. This is probably the strongest of human drives. Read More

100% More Productive and 100% Happier

productive-man-smallWhen I started paying attention to the symptoms and markers of ADD/ADHD a few years ago, it blew my mind how many men I work with have been dragging a hidden anchor behind them all their lives. Most are smart, moderately successful, but FRUSTRATED! And they just don’t know why. Read More

Is It Harder for Introverts?

life-is-not-fair-smallIt is no secret that extroverted people appear more confident, seem more well-liked, and have more doors opened in life. Does that mean that it’s harder for introverts to have social confidence, influence, and success? No. Introverts just have to challenge themselves in different ways.
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Four Mistakes That Kill Your Social Success

man-sitting-alone-smallHaving a great social life is something many guys wish they had. I used to be one of them – sitting, wishing, waiting. But one day I decided to make it one of my major life goals to learn, from virtually nothing, how to be social and make new friends.
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Two Of My Favorite Books

feel-the-fear-blog-smallI got through that challenging period of my life, and now 25 years later, I still repeat “No matter what happens, I will handle it” and know it’s true. I give credit to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway for saving my life. . . . The War of Art feels like it was written just for me. Every time I start reading it, I experience a burst of productivity and focus, which is why I keep rereading it.
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Overthinking It

overthinking-smallThe majority of the people I work with are brighter than average, and bright people tend to have brains that are “problem-solving machines.” This can be a great tool when managed well. Unfortunately, it can also be a curse, because a problem-solving machine needs problems to solve. A bright person can spend all of his or her time trying to figure out everything that might possibly go wrong with any decision or plan before taking action.
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Bringing Up The Past

couple-fighting-smallI've kind of been stewing on this since I wrote it, and a couple things are bubbling up for me. First, how do you get over that "never forgetting" thing? I often find it hard to communicate with my wife, because I'm afraid of saying anything I'm not certain of, knowing that everything I say can and will be held against me.”

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What Does it Mean to Set the Tone and Take the Lead?

set-tone-blog-smallTypically, when I talk with men about setting the tone and taking the lead, they hear: “Be controlling.” The concept of “leading” is frightening, because most of the men with whom I work are Nice Guys who have spent their lives trying to be different from the controlling men they have heard women complain about. Initially, it is difficult to understand how setting the tone and taking the lead is not controlling or self-centered. Perhaps even more significantly, it’s difficult to understand why women like it.
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Why You Should Run From A Seductive Woman

seductive-woman-small"Robert, you’ve written, ‘At the first hint of sexual seductiveness, . . . RUN! Don’t look back.’ I am very confused by this. Sexual seductiveness would be something that I would consider for my five must-haves. Maybe this is due to my lack of sexual/relationship experience, but a lot of my fantasies involve a woman attempting to seduce me."
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I’m Sitting On The Beach and I’m Anxious

relaxing-on-the-beach-smallI’m sitting on the beach, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, my toes are in the sand, my girlfriend is sitting next to me. . .
. . . and I’m feeling anxious. My body is buzzy, my mind is racing, and I have a feeling of dread.
What the . . . ?
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