I’m a firm believer that miracles happen around people, so unless you’re around people, not much of interest will happen in your life. Every time I leave my house, I expect a miracle.
I frequently tell the men with whom I work, “I love waking up in the morning, not knowing how my day is going to end.”
I have found that most of the guys I work with don’t have very adventurous lives. This is especially true for the single guys. I have even had guys tell me that not knowing how their day is going to end would be “hell,” not an adventure. These guys love routine and certainty. That’s why they are single and don’t have much chance of that changing.
Reward is won through risk. No way around it.
You can’t steal second with your foot planted on first.
I conclude every one of my Dating Essentials for Men Q&A Podcasts with the following advice:
Get out of the house.
Expand your route.
Linger in Public.
Talk to everyone you meet.
Test for interest.
Walk through the open doors.
I know this sign-off isn’t catchy or even rocket science, but it is the foundation for building an interesting life and having unexpected experiences.
I teach men how to expand their social and emotional intelligence. This isn’t “pickup.” I don’t create “Geeks with Techniques.” I teach men effective social skills that help them expand their lives.
By getting out of the house and talking to everyone –people on a bus, people next to you in line, people in an elevator, people at a party, baristas and servers – you expand the possibility of interesting things happening.
Living this kind of social life, you don’t have to make anything happen; you just have to let it happen.
I want to tell you a story that I find fascinating. I swear, I’m not making it up. I don’t think I could. Everyone I’ve told it to says it sounds like something straight out of a movie. It is an elegant example of waking up in the morning, not knowing how the day is going to end.
Here’s my story.
I arrived in Puerto Vallarta on a Saturday for my six-month winter stay and spent the first couple of days unpacking and picking up supplies at Costco and the local fruit market. On Monday, I spent the evening at the local Starbucks (can’t beat the view of ocean and palm trees!).
About 9:00 PM I headed down the Malecón (a walkway along the ocean) toward the part of town near my condo, looking for a place to get a bite to eat. When I got into Old Town I saw Jorge, a local musician I know, talking to a group of people seated at a sidewalk café. When I stopped to say “Hola,” one of my best friends in PV, Rob, happened to be chatting with Jorge.
I sat and chatted with Rob and his group of friends, and after we caught up, I mentioned that I was going to get a bite to eat. They had just been to a new little spot with great fajitas and said it should still be open, even though it was close to 10:00 PM.
I walked the couple of blocks, found the restaurant, sat down at one of the two tables on the sidewalk, and ordered fajitas. Right after my food arrived, a group of three people walked out of the restaurant and paused on the sidewalk. One gentleman asked how my food was, and I told him it was good. When I asked where he was from, he said Seattle, so I asked him what part.
As we talked I mentioned that my parents lived on Capital Hill in Seattle when I was born. When he asked what area, I told him I didn’t know, because I was only a few weeks old, but that my mother had gone to Garfield High School.
He got inquisitive. He asked what year my mother graduated, because he was in the class of ’53 at Garfield High. I said I wasn’t sure, but early 50’s. He asked my mother’s last name. “Langford.”
Without hesitation, he asked, “Estelle or Esther?”
He obviously knew my mother.
I replied that my mother is Estelle, and her twin sister is Esther. We laughed about the coincidence. He said that he’d been on the cap and gown committee with my mom and aunt and that he is on the reunion committee now.
I got his email address and marveled about it being such a small world.
The next day I called my mother and left her a voice mail. Then we talked the following day, and I told her the story just as I have written it here. Then I told her his name, and she burst out laughing.
“He was my first boyfriend!” she laughed.
I asked my mom if he knew that. “He might not know he was my first,” she replied, “but he asked me out on my very first date.”
OK, so what are the odds???
What are the odds of my leaving the Starbucks in Puerto Vallarta exactly when I did, going for a walk, and just happening to run into my friend, then our sitting and talking for a bit before he mentions a new restaurant I have never been to before, and my deciding to go there and have dinner, and my mom’s first boyfriend happening to be there at the same time, and walking out and asking me how my food is, and my asking where he is from, and the conversation ending up about where he went to high school, and his knowing my mom and being her first boyfriend – and all of this happening in a third-world country at 10:30 PM on a Sunday night?
Hmmm, life is an adventure.
A Jewish proverb states, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
I promise, you can’t write a script that even compares to the one waiting for you if you’ll get out of the house and start talking to people.
I love waking up in the morning, not knowing how my day is going to end.
Go have a great life.
Come join me in Puerto Vallarta in January and have your own adventure!
Check out this fun video about Puerto Vallarta