A common issue for Nice Guys is feeling needy around women. They often approach them in a “please like me” kind of way -- passive and ineffective.
Once in a relationship, Nice Guys tend to hook up a hose to their woman and expect her to constantly validate them and be their core source of social and emotional connection.
This may feel familiar to you, but it’s not an effective dating strategy.
The main reason that seeking approval from a woman doesn’t accomplish what you want is that your “needy traits are "feminine" in nature.
The “feminine” seeks external validation. The feminine craves approval.
The “masculine” is self-validating by through action. That is why women are generally turned on by men who “do,” not men who seek their approval.
If you approach women from a needy place, seeking their validation, any woman you attract to you will probably be fairly "masculine" in nature. That means she will most likely be pretty controlling and dominant, and maybe even mean and aggressive. She might completely lack the "nurturing" (feminine) qualities you say you crave. She could even resent you for having to take care of you, which usually turns off the sex switch as well.
That is why I teach men to embrace their masculine side by creating a great "cake" of a life. This great cake is made up of:
Pursing your passions
Doing guy things with guys
Leaning into challenge
Regular, strenuous exercise
A regular practice for personal growth (spirituality)
Give your unique gift to the world