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Your Number One Sticking Point

by Dr. Robert Glover on Jan 16th, 2013.     0 comments

frustrated manI was talking with a friend the other day who told me about a struggle he was having in his relationship with his girlfriend. He’s been dating her about a year and really likes her a lot. He would like to see things work out between them, but he was feeling some anxiety about bringing up a subject that seemed to be hanging over the relationship.

As we spoke, I mentioned that nothing would change in his relationship, and perhaps in his life in general, until he stepped up and dealt with the issue that was stressing him. He knew what I was saying was true, but it caused him a lot of anxiety to broach the subject and have a conversation. He feared that bringing up the issue might really hurt his girlfriend and even possibly end their relationship.

I just received an email from my friend thanking me for my advice and stating that he and his girlfriend just had the deepest conversation they had ever had.

He faced his sticking point and gave his relationship a chance to move forward. At the same time, by facing his fears in this way, he also removed a glass ceiling that would have prevented him from moving ahead in life in general.

This is how life works. We continuously bump into various sticking points that cause us frustration, anxiety, fear, guilt, etc. Until we step up and consciously deal with them, nothing ever changes.

No matter what our sticking points are, we can’t rise any higher in life until we clear those hurdles. Period.

It doesn’t matter if your sticking point is an addiction, an unresolved relationship issue, deprivation thinking, financial irresponsibility, a family issue, or fear in general, you can only rise as high as that particular glass ceiling will permit.

Here’s the clincher: avoiding one particular issue – getting stuck, or spinning your wheels doing the same ineffective thing over and over – will have a generalized effect on every other area of your life. For example, failing to deal with an addiction to online porn will limit your relationships, your career, and your financial well-being. You can only rise as high in life and your current glass ceiling will allow.

Here’s the other clincher: life is filled with these sticking points. You will keep bumping into them until the day you die. The freedom that comes from successfully challenging a sticking point in your life will eventually lead to a new glass ceiling caused by a new sticking point.
It never ends.

This may sound kind of gloomy, but it really isn’t. Every time you successfully challenge one sticking point, you add new tools to your toolbox that will come in handy in dealing with the next. Just as importantly, you also gain the self-confidence that comes from knowing that you’ve handled difficult issues in the past and that you can handle whatever life brings you in the future. This is what they call “The School of Hard Knocks.”

What is your current number one sticking point?

Pause for just a moment and write it down. Is it relationship, career, money, health, lifestyle, addiction, fear, shame, guilt????

The reason you are stuck right where you are is not because you are defective in some way, but because you are either avoiding dealing with an important issue or trying to use the exact same problem-solving technologies that created the problem in the first place.

Here is what you need to clear any sticking point:

  • awareness that you are stuck

  • willingness to let go of all blame and excuses and to take full responsibility for your stuckness

  • willingness to step up and challenge yourself in ways that force you out of your comfort zone

  • new tools for your toolbox to help you deal with the challenge

That’s it. That is the formula you will use throughout life to break through the class ceilings you encounter.

Back to your number one sticking point. Are you ready to take responsibility, challenge yourself, and get the tools you need to do something different?

Here is the best way I know to help you quickly and effectively deal with your current sticking point: consult an expert who can help you identify the problem and give you the tools you need to solve it.  (Trying to go it alone hasn’t worked, has it?)

Getting the help of an expert is kind of “no brainer,” but it does seem to be human nature to think we can figure everything out ourselves, even when that strategy has never worked very well (and just keeps us stuck doing nothing or the same ineffective thing over and over).

Close your eyes for just a moment. Take a couple of deep breaths. Now visualize what your life would look like if your current sticking point was completely resolved and no longer hanging over you. Feel the sense of calm, happiness, and well-being that comes with this visual.
Feel the freedom.

Now, return to the "getting unstuck" list above, and identify one specific thing you can do in each of the four steps listed. Then do them.

Robert

Topics: Consciousness Facing Fear Personal Growth Personal Integration

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