Wanting and needing to be liked is childlike in its pursuit of external validation. It also leads to repression of your true self, which takes a toll on your personal integrity. Most significantly, it makes you a Teflon man. Since there is no “you” there, there is nothing for people to connect with. People connect with those who have rough edges, not with people who are trying to be perfect.
As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions, and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other. . .