Read My Mind

The Magic Bullet

by Dr. Robert Glover on Jan 28th, 2013.     4 comments

bulletWhen I began developing my dating classes, seminars, and workshops almost 10 years ago, I quickly noticed a common trait among men who had never experienced dating success – they believe in magic.

Many bad daters live in a world of make believe and fantasy. They are sure that there is some formula, some “magic bullet,” some trick that will make women miraculously start being attracted to them without them ever having to do anything to get out of their own comfort zone.

Bad daters watch other men talk to women, get numbers, get dates, get laid, all seemingly without effort. They assume that women can either intuitively tell that these other guys have higher value, or that they must possess the “magic bullet.”

As I began developing my dating programs, I soon realized that even if bad daters had already purchased several programs, CDs, classes, workshops, etc., they would still open their wallet for the next thing they thought might bring them success without them really having to ever do anything different.

While this mentality is great for online marketers, pickup artists, and dating gurus, it does absolutely nothing to change the romantic and sexual situation for most bad daters.

Want to know the key to successful dating? Want to access the secret that successful daters use to get amazing women?

I’ll give you a clue; it’s not fantasy, it’s not magic, it’s not hypnosis, it’s not card tricks.

It is practice.

Successful daters practice until they get good at attracting the kind of great women that bad daters only fantasize about. That is the only difference between a successful dater and the who stays home on Saturday night by himself watching television or surfing the internet.

To get really good at dating you need the right mindset, effective skills, a good teacher (or role model), and lots of practice.

No one every got really good at anything without a shitload of practice. There is no shortcut and there is no substitute.

Here is an email I received this week that demonstrates the power of practicing effective skills. This guy has taken my Dating Essentials classes and applied what I teach:

“Hey Robert:

Was texting last night with the girl I've been dating and she said something that felt like such a compliment to me. I wanted to share because it's as much a compliment to you as me. Feel free to share with the other guys out there. The context around the message is that we were talking dirty via text since I'm out of town. 

She said, ‘You know, looking at you, and upon first meeting you, I would have never guessed you would talk the way you do. But thank god you are the way you are. I very much enjoy your drive. You make me feel sooooooooo sexy.’

Curious, I asked, ‘So what does that mean? I was too conservative? Or that other guys were very forward?’

She responded, ‘No! It's hard to describe. Usually the guys you get along with and can be yourself around are not the guys who are going to grab you on the street corner and kiss you...’ (That's something I did on our second date.) ‘Or later fuck you the way you want to be fucked. I am the luckiest woman that I met you.’

I was just like, ‘Wow! Is she still talking about me here?’ It was such an awesome compliment to a guy who used to be afraid to kiss a girl/awkward when it came down to the moment.

I told her that your dating classes were one of the best things I did because they have help be bring my sexual agenda without betraying my personality. I think this is the perpetual state of feminine desire you talk about. 

Just thought I'd share. Again, thank you.”

Want to know his secret?


This guy has taken my courses several times and gone out and practiced what I teach. I remember in a post I made to him very early in one of my classes. He was projecting his self-limiting belief that some aspect of what I was teaching wasn’t working for him. I challenged him to get out and practice the principles until he mastered them to the degree that he could teach them to other men.

That is what he did. He practiced and got really good.

Looking for a magic bullet? It doesn’t exist. You want to get really good at something? Get out of your comfort zone and start practicing skills that work. There is no shortcut. There is not substitute.


Topics: Dating Essentials


David Hamilton | Social Expression says ...
Hey Doc -

Love this post. I used to chase the magic bullet all the time, and admittedly, sometimes I still do fall back into that mindset. But then I realize show seeking comfort is a trap, there's no more risk actually than trying to stay in comfort. Then I'm back to growing and expanding, which is outside of what we know...and our comfort zone!


Bill says ...
So what do guys with a lot of practice do differently from the guys without practice?
Nori says ...
But you are becoming a dating guru, too. You are forgetting an essential point to overcome being a NG: most NG (maybe every NG) has sexual issues, and not only wrong behavior, but shame, fear, fundamentalist religious beliefs... For many of us it is necessary a hard work to overcome those issues before we will be able to effectivly date or even practice dating.
meninsider says ...
how very funny i see,first time magic bullet this side.
If you think you’re about to read through some whiney,
“girls are not crazy” rant, you’re wrong.
I’m certainly not going to sit here and deny the fact that my sex is,well,
completely nuts. During points in a relationship girls can easily be pinpointed as clinically insane. It’s true.
visit this side