By becoming more present and conscious in their intimate relationship, men can act with love and integrity in setting a tone that promotes open communication, problem resolution, reciprocity, trust, and sexual passion.
In other words, this class is aimed at showing men how to show up and take responsibility for creating a great relationship.
"Inviting a Woman to be the Icing on Your Really Great Cake"
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A relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies." - Woody Allen from Annie Hall
This eight-week online class is open to straight, gay, and lesbian men and women. Even though some of the content focuses on "male" and "female" roles in heterosexual relationships, the principles taught in All The Way In can be powerfully applied by men and women in non-traditional relationships.
It doesn't matter if you are straight or gay someone has to lead and someone has to follow. Someone has to pitch and someone has to catch. While these roles can be flexible and fluid, someone has to step up and get the ball rolling and keep things on track. Regardless of sexual orientation, I have found that relationships work best when the "guy" steps up and takes the lead in an integrated and loving way.
MEN – If you aren't the one moving your relationship forward, it is dying.
You have a good relationship with your partner and you are committed to making it all it can be.
You are in a relatively new relationship and you want to take the lead in finding out if the person is the best possible match for you.
You are having some struggles in your relationship. You know your Nice Guy traits are contributing the difficulties you are having. You want to challenge yourself and give your relationship a chance to flourish.
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A. Every week during the class you will be able to download a written PDF lesson with lecture and homework assignments. You will also receive a web address for a class forum where you will post your responses to each homework assignment and read the posts from other students along with my responses. I personally log into the class forum one or two times per week, depending on the number of class posts, and make comments about the posts and sometimes give additional homework assignments.
You can work at your own pace and log into the class forum and read and post any time. There is no set class schedule. It will probably take from about 90 minutes to two hours every week for actual class participation. You get to decide how much time you will spend applying the principles of All The Way In in your intimate relationship.
Q. Is your All the Way In class appropriate for a currently single man who wants to learn about what makes relationships work and why previous relationships have not worked?
A. The class is perfect for single guys who want to start from day one of meeting a woman to set the tone for creating a healthy relationship. The better you understand how healthy, passionate relationships work and what it takes to create them, the more effective you will be in your dating. You will set the tone and take the lead from the very beginning and get to rejection quickly with women who aren't a good match for you. All The Way In is a great road map for single men who want a great relationship with a great woman.
Q. It sounds like this course is primarily directed toward straight men. Yet I see that the class is open to gays. How do you address the issues of non-traditional relationships?
A. All The Way In is open to gay men. Even though much of the content focuses on "male" and "female" roles in heterosexual relationships, the principles taught in this course can be powerfully applied by men in non-traditional relationships. Since gays in a "straight" world, most have learned to convert the nouns and pronouns to fit their own situation.Regardless of sexual orientation, I have found that relationships work best when the "guy" (the most naturally masculine person in the relationship) steps up and takes the lead in an integrated and loving way. It doesn't matter if you are straight or gay, someone has to lead and someone has to follow. While these roles can be flexible and fluid, someone has to step up and get the ball rolling and keep things on track.
Q. Isn't it dangerous to make generalizations which assume a certain gender is better at something than the other? It sounds like the 1950's all over again.
A. I understand the danger of generalizing, especially with something as complex and fluid (and politically and socially volatile) as gender and sexuality. I'm going to do it anyway. I understand that not all men are alike and not all women are alike. I understand that all situations are different. I understand that men and women can consciously swap roles. I understand that there are women who are more masculine than feminine and men who are more feminine than masculine. I understand that women can have male type brains (engineers) and men can have female type brains (decorators).
In spite of the shortcomings of generalizing about gender and sexual orientation, the fact is, someone has to lead and someone has to follow. In general, the game doesn't work well with two pitchers and no catchers or two bottoms and no tops.
In spite of the prevailing philosophy that relationships should be 50/50, cars still come with one steering wheel and televisions with one remote. Someone has to drive and someone has to click. It is okay to take turns, but it still works best when each person in a relationship has a default position and the person with the natural "male" or masculine nature sets the tone and takes the lead with consistency. This is what the "feminine" craves.
Q. Have you received much backlash from women as the result of teaching men to take control?
A. I don't teach men to control anything, especially another person. Control is an illusion and attempts to control a partner are unloving. When I encourage men to set the tone and take the lead, I am inviting them to be conscious and present in their relationship. This is the greatest act of love and integrity a man can offer his partner.
I often use the metaphor of dance. There is no control. There is a lead and a follow. Each person knows their role. When the lead does his job and the follow lets him, the dance is beautiful and exhilarating for both people involved.
In general, women like what I teach men. Many are tired of being the gatekeepers of their intimate relationships. They are tired of driving the bus. They are tired of being the "lead". They are tired of feeling tired. They are tired of being asked, "what do you want to do tonight?" They are ready for a different plan.
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